A Bug-like Creature Opera w/Bugzilla <Man> Some kind of Bug-Like Creature Crawling on your leg It’s got 4 big boogly eyeballs and its guts are green not red! Some Kind of Bug-Like Creature Buzzing by your head It’s got 4 bug-pairs of bug-wings and if it bites u your dead! Some kind of Bug-like Creature Cought up in your hair Struggling desperately to get free Before you find out it’s there! eeeeeeekkkk! As I approach the tensing bug I’m sensing some resistance and something deep inside of me is screaming “KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!” I see carcasses of other bugs being turned into jelly as I stare thru the walls of its transparent belly what is it!? Kingdom: Animalia Phylum: Arthropodia Class: I don’t know, but it’s worthy of an Aria Some Kind of Bug-Like Creature will it eat my food? and give birth to bug-like babies 1000 in it’s brood?!? <As man gets close, Bug sees man, and sings> Bipedal creture Damn glad 2 meet ya Sure liked your pizza Man, your outta my bug world Your roof keeps the hawks out Your floor keeps the frogs down Your living room’s got lots of space Cat! I think I like this human race All the bugs’ been talkin bout your upright walkin Your brain is a mystery Will u make it? I guess we’ll see Now watch it swinging that hand Quit messin with m'boys in the band It’s a good thing that u move so slow Just the same I gotta go My antenna are twitchin Hearin about your kitchen The noise is that smorgasbord can feed me and my whole bug hoard So if you’ll excuse me I’ve got a hungry mouth to feed It’s been a ball, but I gotta crawl I’ll take the path right thru this wall Bye-Bye Bipedal creature <Man> What type it is I could not tell nor if there’s any real danger but I’ve decided it I must kill cause I’ve never seen anything stranger There’s fear brewing inside my head I’m really quite afraid Before it crawls inside my bed I’d better get some Raid How did it get inside the house did it come in from the lawn? I’d better keep my eye on it, oh poop! it’s gone! Damn these bugs and this wet Florida weather which supports new life like the wind supports the feather As fast as I might kill swat, smash, stamp, and spray they could hatch a whole new bretheren all in a single day I haven’t any choice but to set a trap with bait I’ll poison every floor and drawer Then smoke my pipe and wait <Bug> Callin all of my bug friends You won’t believe what I’ve found enough food for everyone just laying around on the ground so bug-friends get out the word to every bug in our bug-herd lets celebrate, and toast some tea to our new found diety I can’t believe our luck today we’re gonna back up the truck and stay go get the grubs let’s party and play Horray, Horray! Horray, Horray! <Man enters> Hey Man thing there u are I’ve been munchin on your bar I brought some friends in from the car Let me tell u what we’ve done so far Got some good bug lovin Underneath your oven A friend died so we ate her Behind your refridgerator Made your girlfriend cower We all shared her shower Got our kicks, mighta left some goo Sun tanning in your shoe Found a couple other critters Guess ya call ‘em “baby-sitters” They left screaming with the jitters when we hissed them a song Whenever we’re done feedin we’ll use the walls for breedin I don’t think we’ll be leavin anytime sooon <man> Curse these bugs and their creepy bug-cousins fire ought to kill them! it ought to kill them by the dozens! -great battle- <Bugs> My God Man what have u done you’ve slaughtered half my friends I was just startin to have some fun Now this is how it ends? Damn Man I don’t understand Your hand turned on the light my friend Buggy waived to you you squashed him with your pan You left out this uncovered food We thought it was for us now your kitchen counter top looks like the windshield of a bus! Hissing, clicking, stinky, hungry, fuzzy, ugly bug, Watching, waiting, hiding, lurking, underneath the rug <Man> It seems to know I plot its doom Will it soon attack me It’s buzzing now around the room My God, it’s flying at me! AAAARRRGGG!!! I do not dare to scream my pie hole open wide We all know what would happen next that bug would fly inside! I pounce and swing in every direction to end this household insurrection Curse the cat for not doing its job There it sits on the floor like a blob I gasp for breath as the bug flies around waiting for my chance when it lands on the ground then I pick up the largest thing I can find that I can crush it with cleanly, and clear off my mind <Sammy/Kid> Eeeeeeek !!!!!!!! Sammy screamed, though not at the bug but upon my attempts to make it part of the rug She stood there aghast “Don’t you dare!” her eyes cast Then she made me scoop it up with cardboard and a big cup I suppose she was right Why was I all afright I’m a million times bigger than this little purple chigger It rattled around and I threw it outside in the grass, on the ground in a place it could hide and as I turned around to come back inside it seemed to look up at me and say <Bug> I bet you’re wondrin brother if I’m a man-bug or a mother I’m bet ur gonna gasp with fright when u find out I’m a hermaphrodite I’ll lay a new population some with a new mutation they’ll be eatin your poison on chinese chicken like hoisen One drawback about the bug-deal Your kids eat you in their first bug-meal but don’t u worry bout there being too many they eat each other too, in rough times or plenty Hey remember one more thing I’m not all bad just cause I sting My million years of evolution provides some medical solutions So it’s been real nice knowin you I had a great time thru and thru I’ll reminisce when I go to crash in that can you call the trash Thanx 4 the memories <Man> Some kind of bug like creature Maybe it’s your friend So unless it tries to bite you Don’t squash it with your hand!